Here is Chapter 16:
Chapter 16
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- This Is What Will Happen In The Next Few Months
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- You Know Things Are Fucked Up
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- Section 2 Epilogue/Closing Poem
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1 comment:
I had lost some of the flow to the narrative since last week, so forgive me if I digress too much. I think you could make more of this conversation between Sarah and her pals since it seems extremely important. they are discovering something, I believe, they though might be true all along but was difficult to really prove. Now, with Jack, they have it in front of them yet they seem somewhat docile, detached and/or unemotional when they are deciphering all the staggering possibilities. It seems like one of them should be a naysayer at the very least or play the devil's advocate or is the person that overreacts. I think it is good for the narrative, but also it will give those readers who share such emotions an outlet in these pages to associate with. In addition ,ti might lead to snappier dialogue. I still feel that during this scene at the hospital/military-industrial base/lab is all about explaining the discovery about jack and themselves. All well and good, but don't these people engage in wacky--or not so wacky banter-- banter under stress. Are they all business even when facing these enormous truths? Are they scared, in disbelief, exhausted, energized, etc...? I see some of it, but it just does not seem enough for a bunch of scientists who live for this stuff and when they finally uncover some stuff like this, they go about it like they just tested Newton's Law for the upteenth time. Otherwise, it is good stuff--confusing to an old man like me, but I must say you have me interested in what is going to happen next which is really what matters. Keep up the good work and hope you are well
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